So some of you who knew me years ago would say that i was shy.... (well that was many years ago) i didn't dare to go places where i knew i wouldn't know any body, i hated parties (and that is one of my most hidden secrets and i still hate parties), i hate going into rooms where there is heaps of people even if it is all people that i do know. But i have just done some thing that a few years ago i wouldn't have even bothered to do.... i rang my boss and organised a meeting... i am so proud of myself and yet i still don't know if i acctually dare to go but i have to as it is booked...
The years of working has taught me something that i really still find hard to admitt, i am a people pleaser, i don't really say what is on my mind when it comes to making a decision or when i see some one doing something wrong, but when i moved places of work i took it as a new beginning, i have stood up for my self, it really took hard work and still sometimes really have to argue in my head about being true to myself. I'll give you an example, they were discussing euthanasia on the news at work and i was like i don't agree, no one has the right to say when they die and when they stay alive, and my work mate was like so ur telling me that if you were termally ill and on your death bed that you would rather suffer than to die, and i said thats exactly what i am saying, it is God who decides when you die and when you stay alive, we do not have the right.... and i was so proud of myself for really showing how i felt on the topic and the other person didn't know where to look but he knew where i stood, a few years ago i would have just not said a word and it really feels good to know that other people know where you stand and that you don't take knocking over... i still find it hard to be true to what i do on the weekends with other people but the other day i had to hand in my sick note and i came in after church to drop it off and my friend was like where have u been and i said church, one little word, and they stood back and i think for the first time really saw who i am not that she didn't know that i go to church and am a christian but i think for the first time it really hit home for her what my life is like and it felt good.
i really encourage other people to be true to themselves, don't hide your life, don't rub it in to other who don't want to know but be true, don't be quiet because it is the same as lying but be true, dare to be you, and you will find that it gets easier as time goes on....
see you soon
xoxo
Wow, that is a great post! Thanks for sharing Jem, I feel the same often. And I'm that shy, not daring to speak, quiet person that often sits in the corner. But it's amazing how you feel even in yourself when you dare to speak out, when you say your opinion. So I really appreciate that you write something like this because it makes us all think about ourselves too. Maybe I do need to say more at times, speak out not just for myself but for God too. And although I've realised it myself before, it's nice to have a reminder, to reflect about how little I've done it recently, how much I still need to do... (sounds like a 'bad' thing but it's good and maybe not comfortable but not 'bad' as such)... and to have someone in the same boat as me :)
ReplyDeleteI also found that when I moved here to Perth it helped get me out of that comfort zone a little... I stayed in the same job for 4 years, even when at times I felt like giving up, probably for reasons such as staying 'safe'... But there's still a lot of work to do :)
Well done for standing up! And I hope your meeting goes well!!! xox
P.S. All your blog posts are a great read, so keep it up... yes I do read them, apologies for not commenting sooner... :)